


Fear of a Name

by uhnonniemiss



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Arguing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, During Canon, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Injuries, Neuroatypical Newt, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Science Boyfriends, Science Husbands, The Drift (Pacific Rim), okay some of these tags may be a little spoilery, there are no triggers dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhnonniemiss/pseuds/uhnonniemiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear of a Name

Streaks of yellow and orange crept their way over the horizon, bright paintbrush strokes of colour in the grey smog and cold city air. Looking at this sunrise, there was no hideous toxic blue, no monsters or fear, only warmth and pastel pinks that chased away the shadows and a cityscape that stretched as far as they eye could see. _Here_ , Hermann thought as he leant against half-rusted iron railings, _there is peace._

Or at least there _was_. Hermann sighed as he heard clattering from the ladder behind him, mixed in with a couple of choice German swear words. _It was only a matter of time._ "What do you want, Doctor Geiszler?" he called, not turning his head from the view.

"How many times, dude? It's Newt," the other man complained as he leaned on his knees, catching his breath. "That ladder was _way_ taller than expected. Anyways, I hoped I'd find you up here."

"Of course you did." Hermann rolled his eyes. "Did it ever occur to you, Newton, that if I was up here I had no desire to be found?" He'd thought he was the only one in the Shatterdome who knew about the little platform; he shouldn't be surprised that Newt had found out, he supposed. A man who made his life's work from examining the unknown was inquisitive, to say the least. He tried not to sigh again as Newt took up stance next to him, an elbow leant against the railing.

"Uh, yeah, dude, I have six doctorates, I can work me out some Herm-Psych." It took a great deal of Hermann's self control to pitch the tattooed scientist over the side at that. "But I also realised that it's the ass-crack of dawn in the middle of winter, and that _certain_ mathematicians I could care to name have left this in the lab." Hermann half-turned to see Newt holding up his oversized parka, a smirk on his face. "If you wanted to catch your death, dude, leave it to the Kaiju, not exposure."

For the first time, Hermann noticed exactly how cold it was, his shoulders hunched against the wind. He pressed his lips together tightly and all but snatched the coat from Newt's hands, trying to ignore an unwelcome- but not unfamiliar- rush of affection for the man. "Thank you. For once in your life, you appear to have not made yourself an utter nuisance."

"Don't mention it, dude." Newt screwed up his eyes against the sun's glare. "Man, I always forget how gorgeous this view is."

Hermann started at his wording. "Forget?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'd been coming up to this place for months until you found it. Needed a place the cameras couldn't see me, for when things get a little too busy up here." He tapped his temple lightly, laughing at Hermann's shocked expression. "What, you thought you were the only one who knew about this place?"

He had to admit, yes. He'd thought this was his own peace sanctuary, never really considering the fact that someone else had thought to look for it. And although it pained Hermann to even think it, the idea of having Newt here was… not unpleasant.

He was jolted from his train of thought by a mug being pressed into his hands. "Coffee. It'll warm us up," Newt smiled, trying to juggle a flask and his own mug and spilling several drops of hot liquid onto the floor. "I don't even know why this place exists. Glad it does, though."

"It's a watchtower," Hermann took a sip of the coffee, and nodding at the city. "Before we adapted the shatterdomes to fight Kaiju, they were used as military bases, and they needed watchtowers to see if an enemy was approaching from the city." He smiled bitterly. "All our threats come from the ocean now, and this one doesn't face it, so it became disused. Until we found it, of course." He hesitated. "I like not being able to see the ocean. I can…" he trailed off, embarrassed, but Newt understood.

"Pretend it's not real, for a few moments?" Hermann nodded, and Newt nudged their shoulders together. "I get that. For me, it just reminds me of the people we're protecting. All those families, looking at the same sunrise I am. If the samples aren't working or my brain won't cooperate, I come up here. I can relax, I can focus. I can keep going." He took a gulp of his coffee. "And I just said a lot of words, didn't I. Sorry."

"It's alright." Hermann turned to the other man, a strange expression on his face. It could almost be described as fond. "Newton, I will deny this as soon as we descend from here, but if I had to share this place with anyone, I'm glad it's you."

"Aw, Herms, I never knew you cared," Newt grinned, and Hermann rolled his eyes. "But the same for me, too. This is pretty romantic, huh?" he asked, making Hermann splutter.

" _Romantic_? Newton, I hardly think-"

Newt froze. "Did I say that? Let's pretend like I didn't say that." A blush spread across his cheeks. "Sorry. I don't think it's romantic. Why would I even- like, that would be so-" On impulse, Hermann moved his hand from the railing and placed it over Newt's, which stopped the other man's babbling, if nothing else. Newt blew out a long breath. "Hermann?"

"Newton."

"I'm- this is gonna sound crazy weird, but do you like me? I mean, I know you think I'm an _insufferable manchild_ ," his impression drew an irritated huff from Hermann, "but, like, I kind of think you're awesome. In a more than lab partner/friend way. And I don't even know how you swing but sometimes I see you looking at me with this look on your face and I think that maybe you might feel something like I do. So, like, do you like me? Do you wanna go out sometime? Not to sound like a highschooler, but will you be my boyfriend, or whatever? Wait, that's a lot of questions. Pick your favourite."

Hermann narrowed his eyes. Past encounters such as this had only led to wild laughter- he half expected to hear Tendo cackling in the wings. "If I discover that I'm being _mocked_ , Newton…" Newt shook his head wildly.

"Never, man. Cross my heart."

"Very well," he turned back to the horizon, hiding the smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "My answer is no."

Newt bit his lip, shoulders slumping. "Oh."

"No, I will not be your boyfriend, or whatever," He waved away Newt's crestfallen muttering of _yeah dude, you made your point. "_ I refuse to define my relationship as though I am a desperate teenager making out at a school dance. However…" he smiled, looking at Newt in the corner of his vision. "The idea of a romantic relationship with you is quite agreeable to me."

Newt blinked, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. "Wait, so- that's a yes?"

"Yes. Against my better judgement, your presence makes me inexplicably happy, Newton."

"Yes!" Newt actually punched the air, making Hermann shake his head in exasperation. "Dude, I swear you won't regret this. I'll be the best damn boyfriend ever. Oh, shush," he laughed at Hermann's annoyed look at the word _boyfriend_ , leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Hermann went still, and Newt pulled back automatically, eyebrows furrowed. "Ah, I'm sorry, was that too much?"

Hermann closed his eyes, a peaceful expression on his face. "Hm. The preliminary investigation did not yield accurate results due to premature completion. It is best we repeat it in order to fully examine the effect."

" _Dude, are you flirting with science talk_? You are the _best_." Newt looked ready to power the city for weeks on end, the energy buzzing from him was so intense. He pressed his lips to Hermann's again, and Hermann slowly, hesitantly, kissed back, and Newt tasted like black coffee and it was everything and nothing like he'd imagined, all at the same time. When they separated, they looked back at the sky, now delicate hues of lilac and baby blue.

"Also, Hermann, you're a dick for trying to trick me like that."

"Just enjoy the moment, Newton."

"Okay."

* * *

The world was full of sterile walls and antiseptic, and Hermann was about five seconds away from beating the young medic to death with her own clipboard.

She looked down at the list of patients at an agonizing pace. "So, you're here to see..?"

"Doctor Newton Geiszler." Hermann tightened his grip on his cane. "As I've been telling you for the past half hour, that is his room," he jabbed a finger at the door behind her, "and I demand to know his condition."

"Hmm, Geiszler, Geiszler…ah." She frowned, looking at Newt's information. "I'm sorry, Doctor Gottlieb, but only immediate family are permitted to see him."

"Goddamnit, I _am_ his family," Hermann's voice came out as a snarl, eyes flashing. "I am the best family he has, and I refuse to be bullied out of seeing him." Seeing the medic's blank look, he sighed in frustration. "Are you so stupid that I must spell it out? Perhaps a diagram would suffice? I am Doctor Geiszler's- ah- p-partner." The word sounded odd to him, but it was as accurate as any. "Let me through before I have to ask the Marshal for express permission myself."

The medic had gone pale, her lower lip trembling. "That's, er, not necessary. You can pass- I'm only a trainee, you see, and I-" she let Hermann snatch the key card from her hand and swipe it to get into Newt's room, then scampered away. Hermann supposed he would have to apologise later, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Newton?" Hermann said quietly as the door slid shut behind him. The biologist lay in the middle of the hospital bed, his tattoos even brighter against pale skin. As he came closer, Hermann saw the bandages wrapped around Newt's shoulder and the IV attached to his hand, and sat down heavily on the chair beside the bed. _Gott, Newton, you idiot._ He looked so peaceful, his glasses lopsided on his face, forehead smoothed out by sleep. Hermann smiled despite himself, reaching out and taking one of Newt's hands in his own.

" _BOO_!" Newt's eyes shot open, making Hermann jump out of his skin and snatch back his hand. Newt dissolved into laughter, wincing occasionally as the movement strained his shoulder. "Your _face_ , dude. Woah, that hurts."

" _Newton,_ for god's sake." Hermann settled back into his seat, heart still hammering. "You should count yourself lucky that you're in a hospital bed, you-"

"Relax, Hermann, if you're gonna have heart failure, the medical wing is probably the best place for it, and I couldn't resist." He tried to sit up, but hissed as his shoulder protested and sinking back onto his pillows. "Well, it looks like I'm not moving for a while."

Hermann's face softened in sympathy. "How are you feeling?"

"I have third degree chemical burns down my shoulder, Hermann, and it feels like I've just been hit by a monster truck then mauled by a Kaiju. But yeah, I'll be fine." He managed a shaky smile. "Pass me some water?"

Hermann tried to stop his trembling hand shaking the liquid in the glass. "Sorry," he murmured, as a violent shudder made water splash Newt in the face. "The adrenaline."

Newt took in the shellshocked expression on Hermann's face. "Aw, dude, I'm really sorry I scared you-"

"It's not that." Hermann cleared his throat sharply. "It's not- I found you, Newton. On the lab floor. Covered in _acid_. And then they wouldn't even let me in. Do you have _any_ idea-" he broke off, taking a long, shaking breath.

Comprehension dawned on Newt's face like the sun. "Oh. Oh, God, Hermann, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Hermann rested his head in his hand. "Newt, are you _alright_? If I hadn't found you sooner, you could have died, you _fool_. No, don't get up-" he protested as Newt made another attempt and turned a weird grey colour. Newt reached out with his good arm, and he looked so apologetic and so goddamn vulnerable that Hermann couldn't help but return the gesture.

"Yeah, but you did find me. I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere." Newt squeezed Hermann's hand tightly. "I'm not leaving you."

Hermann sighed, raising their hands to kiss Newt's fingers. "I know. But please be more careful, _liebling_. I find the idea of you in pain an unpleasant one."

"Of course you do. Where would you be without this sweet bundle of rockstar?" Newt grinned, actually drawing a smile from Hermann. "Hey, I heard you terrorising that poor medic outside. Kudos, I think you made her cry."

"Hmm," Hermann nodded thoughtfully, running his thumb over Newt's. "I suppose an apology is in order. It was important I see you, though."

"You're the sweetest, Herms, but that's not where I'm going with this." Newt grinned impishly. "I'm your _partner_ , now, huh? I thought I'd never see the day where you, you know, _actually defined_ what we got here." He waggled his eyebrows, and Hermann shook his head in exasperation.

"I needed a reason to be considered family. I doubted that you'd have a problem with it." He paused as Newt bit his lip, looking guilty. "Do you?" Newt avoided his eyes, and Hermann swore that his heart ceased to beat for a few seconds. "Newton, what are you trying to communicate?"

"It's not that I don't want a cute lil' pet name, Hermann, I really do." Newt screwed up his nose. "It's just- _partner_? Really? How formal can you get, dude?"

Hermann huffed, relief flooding through him. "For God's sake, man, you're the one who's been begging me to define this relationship since it began, but as soon as I find something adequate, you reject it."

"Yeah, well, we're not cowboys, Hermann, we live in a Shatterdome, not a ranch. If you expect me to shout _yee-haw_ next time we're doing it-"

"Don't be so _crude_ -"

"Maybe I should get some cowboy boots, they'd make my legs look good- or wait, did you mean partners in crime, because I don't know about you, Herms, but I'm a good law abiding citizen, thank you very much-"

"Newton, you know full well I didn't mean that-"

"Because I know you didn't mean lab partners, if anything you're my lab assistant-"

"I honestly don't know why I bother with you-"

"Hey," Newt said, quieter this time. "I'm glad you finally feel comfortable giving this thing a name, but we need something that suits us both, okay? So no juvenile _boyfriend_ , no stuffy old _partner_." He let go of Hermann's hand and shuffled over the wide bed, wincing, until there was enough room for Hermann too. "C'mon, scoot closer."

Hermann paused. "That's hardly sanitary- or adhering to protocol, I could add."

Newt sighed, patting the sheet next to him. "Get on the damn bed already, Hermann." The other man protested for a second, but leaned his cane against his chair and manoeuvring himself so he was beside Newt. The bed was small, so they had to lean against each other, Newt's head on Hermann's shoulder, Hermann's arm careful of Newt's injured side and his hand rested to lightly run through Newt's hair.

"Herms? I heard the other stuff you said out there, too. The stuff about me being your family."

"Hmm, I suppose I did say that. God knows why, you're incorrigible."

"Stop speaking Victorian, I'm serious." Newt pulled back to look at him, his eyes wide. He looked… touched. "I think I kind of love you for saying that, Hermann. I think I kind of love you, period."

Hermann smiled, kissing Newt's temple. "Victorian isn't a language, I just prefer not to massacre the English language like you do. But for the record; I love you too, _liebling_."

"I know. Who couldn't love an idiot who causes lab accidents with corrosive chemicals? Crap, this is gonna ruin my tattoos," he added thoughtfully.

Hermann closed his eyes. "Go to sleep, Newton."

"Okay."

* * *

 

Hermann looked steadily at Newt. "You can't do it again."

"Who says I can't?" Newt sounded petulant, like a child being scolded for no reason. "We need more information on the Kaiju, Hermann, I'm not gonna sit on my ass doing nothing."

"But you've done something. You initiated a neural handshake with a Kaiju brain, Newton, you've done _enough_. Let someone else put themselves in danger." Hermann leant heavily on his cane, the fear of the past few hours melting into exhaustion. "And _I_ say you can't do it again, you fool, as would anyone else with an ounce of common sense." Newt just turned away, violently throwing down a stack of papers.

"Yeah, well, you're not the boss of me," he sighed dramatically. "I should've known you'd be like this."

Hermann's jaw dropped. "Like what? Could the great rockstar genius that is Newton Geiszler possibly condescend to tell me what I'm like?"

Newt whirled round, jabbing a finger at him. "So. Damn. _Superior_. You didn't think I could do this from the start, dude, you were all _oh, Newton, it'll never work, they won't give you the equipment, blah blah blah._ And now I _have_ done it, and it helped us a hell of a lot, thanks very much, and you're telling me I shouldn't do this." He folded his arms over his chest defensively, as Hermann stared at him. "Guess what, Hermann? I'm gonna do this, and it's gonna save us all, and I don't give a _shit_ about what you have to say to it. I suppose I expected you to be a little more supportive, but hey, you're wrong about science, I'm wrong about what a relationship should involve," he shrugged.

"Supportive? Newton, I've made it clear that I hold you theories in the highest regard-" Hermann started to argue, but was cut off by Newt's mirthless laughter.

"Oh, give me a break, dude. All you've done from day one is tell me what a dumb idea this is. Don't even," he warned, as Hermann tried to approach him.

Hermann dropped his arms to his side. " _Liebling_ , please, don't go. You'll kill yourself."

" _Liebling_?" Newt's incredulous voice rose a few octaves, if that were possible. "You do not get to call me that anymore, _Doctor Gottlieb."_ The emphasis on the two words stung, but Hermann tried not to show it. "We're not lovers, or family, or whatever you wanna call it. We're not even _friends_. Hell, we're barely even colleagues anymore, which makes you a stranger to me now. A stranger that I'm sleeping with, and last time I checked, I can _pay_ for that." Hermann breathed in sharply, his view of Newt's yelling form blurred around the edges.

"What you're saying will be hard to take back, _Doctor Geiszler_." He said the title with equal venom. "You had no clue if the drift would work, and if you want me to apologise for caring for your physical wellbeing, you can-"

"But what about my mind, Hermann," Newt said in a tiny, sad voice. "What about my heart. Don't try and pass this off as caring about me- you just didn't want to be proved wrong." Newt was shaking on his feet, but determined. "And if I do die, I'm just gonna be one more stupid scientist, who went knowing that nobody loved him." He crossed the room towards Hermann, kissing him gently on the corner of his mouth. "Goodbye, Hermann," he murmured, before grabbing his jacket and leaving the lab, Hermann's terrified cries of " _Newt_!" trailing in his wake.

* * *

 

Rain hammered down on the deck of the Shatterdome, the wind stinging Hermann's eyes as he heard Pentecost shout orders behind him. For a horrible, selfish moment, he didn't care about a single person in that city; the only important thing at that moment was Newt, and whether or not he was safe. It was a despicable thought, but an honest one. He became vaguely aware of being told to find him- _yes, yes I can do that._

Hermann's leg ached as he fought his way through crowds of people trying to look at the dead Kaiju, first civilians, then Hannibal Chau's own mercenary force of dealers and scientists. He saw Newt hurriedly shoving people out of his way to prepare the Kaiju, and a little of his fear fell away from him, the sick fear that was familiar from the times he'd found Newt on the laboratory floor, seizing, burning, dying. _Alive. Gott, he's alive._ He looked dishevelled and bloody and royally pissed-off, but he was safe enough.

"There are two Kaiju signatures in the breach, not three like I predicted," he shouted to Newt, announcing himself. Burying himself in scientific fact was much easier than dealing with the emotional backlash he knew was coming. Newt glanced back at him, and maybe it was wishful thinking, but he looked as happy to see Hermann as Hermann was to see him. The look was gone in a heartbeat though, replaced with determination and panic.

"Hermann, I haven't exactly had a very good day, okay?" Hermann winced at the squelching sound of Kaiju flesh as Newt pushed a cable in. They spat science back and forth at each other- Hermann knew Newt focused better when arguing- until Newt sliced through him, saying _It hurts to be wrong, doesn't it?_ Hermann realised that Newt still thought he was unsupportive and bitter, could _die_ still thinking that. His muscles moved without conscious impulse from his brain, tapping his precious numbers into the computer. _I cannot let him go on thinking that. And I cannot let him do this alone._

"I'll go with you." In the bleakest sense of the word, this was a win-win situation. Either this would save Newt's life, or they would go down together. At this point, _together_ was all that mattered.

Newt blinked in shock. "You're serious? You would do that for me? Or, you would...you would do that with me?"

Hermann felt himself nod, agree, take Newt's hand in that ridiculous way, anything to prevent him from doing this alone. There's a rush of wires and countdowns and Newton, and then his whole world is _blue_ , the drift is _everywhere_.

Newton is _everything_.

_I'm sat by the lake I'm at my mother's knee wait no I'm not she left no she didn't what's going on where am I where am I where_

_I'm being screamed at there is so much noise dad friends girls help There's a bottle of pills on the desk it's bright orange I'm being diagnosed but it's dumb it doesn't help it never helps wait no I'm in a hospital bed there are sirens I'm sick I'm sick what's wrong with my leg why can't I feel my_

_Kaiju monsters tearing us apart I have to help I have to do something they're horrifying they're fascinating I don't care what people think I want it on my skin I want to be reminded I want_

_I'm alone I'm alone I need someone something I do not want to face this by myself_

_I am leaning against the railing I can taste coffee and smell the dawn and I can see him I love him I Newt is here Newt is here and_

_I_

_Am_

_Focused._

Hermann took a deep breath, the force of every memory he'd ever had and some he hadn't taking the air from his lungs.

_I have to focus._

His eyes were closed, but he could sense Newton, sense him beside him, around him, within him. Newt was something to focus on. Newt was a way to keep grounded. He let himself see, feel, touch everything Newt had experienced, saw the first time he'd seen a Kaiju, saw him get his fourth, fifth, sixth doctorates, felt their first kiss in perfect cinematic slow motion, letting the other man consume him entirely just like he was consuming Newt. He could sense every ounce of love Newt felt for him, all the concern and admiration and a sheer _joy_ that rivalled his own- although Hermann wasn't sure any more what qualified as his own. At the same time he felt how disappointed and betrayed he had been when Hermann had scoffed at his theories, and refused to listen time after time; the deep aching sadness when he started to think his love wasn't requited any more; the sharp biting fear of drifting for the first time. He found no signs that Newt knew that Hermann did that because he couldn't stand the idea of something happening to him, and whatever part of Hermann was still undevoured wanted to fold in on himself.

_You left him alone in this._

Through the connection, Hermann tried to push through every ounce of remorse, every piece of guilt and pride and love he held within him, everything he shut off in the name of protection.

_I care. You will not go thinking that nobody loves you. You will not spend a single second of the rest of your life believing that, because I am your friend, your colleague, your partner, your family, and I love you._

Before the Kaiju and the Anteverse exploded in his mind, Hermann could have sworn he felt a rush of affection in return, and maybe- hopefully- even a little bit of forgiveness.

It wasn't until they were sat in the chopper next to each other that Newt's hand crawled across the seats and took Hermann's "I'm sorry I said what I did," he whispered, and although Hermann despised the word, with the tissue shoved up his nose and the puppy-dog eyes, Newton can only be described as impossibly _cute_. Hermann squeezed the hand, smiling apologetically.

"I'm sorry I put you in a position that forced you to say them."

"Yeah, well, you were an idiot," Newt tried to be stern, but the warm smile softened the tone. "Maybe I was one too, but you were definitely more of one. But you're my idiot, and… I understand. In the drift, I saw- or I felt- what you meant. It doesn't excuse everything, but I understand, and I'm not angry." He leaned forward, kissing Hermann on the forehead and grinning. "You can prove just how sorry you are later, when all this is over."

For once, Hermann couldn't bring himself to roll his eyes and sigh, his relief was so great. For once, he was contented to be an idiot, as long as Newt was there to be an idiot alongside him. "Then let us cancel this apocalypse, Newton," he murmured, pressing his forehead to Newt's.

"Okay."

As the Shatterdome towered on the shore and the helicopter came in to land, they kept hold of each other, and with a beautiful sense of not being alone, they saved the world

And it was, to borrow Newt's turn of phrase, _totally freaking awesome._

* * *

 

If you'd asked Hermann a few years ago to describe his own personal paradise, he would have first spun a monologue on the statistical improbability of a perfect world existing, then outlined something vague involving endless algorithms and cups of black coffee, in relative solitude. It most certainly would _not_ have involved one hundred and thirty seven pounds of tattooed biologist that he'd met during an apocalypse, who was wearing one of his threadbare 'air and space museum' tshirts and listening to old music on a crackling radio, or an apartment in Boston that gave a perfect view of the sunrise.

The Hermann of a few years ago _really_ didn't know what he was missing.

"My mother is asking after us again," he said to Newt from the kitchen table, holding a cup of coffee in his hands, careful not to spill it on the papers he was grading (which had been mostly neglected, thanks to the aforementioned tattooed biologist and the fact that apart from boxers, that tshirt was the _only_ thing Newt was wearing).

Newt paused from humming along to Joy Division and washing the dishes to smile. "Aw, Mama Gottlieb. You get over the fact I am definitely her favourite son yet?"

"Bastien will be so disappointed he's lost the title."

"You betcha," Newt winked. "Is she okay? Still wants us over for the holidays, I guess."

"Hmm," Hermann nodded, setting the mug down with a gentle _clink_. "You know, I'm not even surprised you get on so well with her, between your apparent delight at my baby pictures and your constant desire to get me to define this relationship."

"Also our mutual love of baking- which reminds me, I need you to get eggs from the store after your lecture tomorrow." Newt turned round, brandishing a soapy spoon, which ended up flicking suds into Hermann's coffee. "Oops. Sorry. But anyway, we discussed this. We're _yolo swagbros_ , and that's final."

"I can't believe you still indulge your love of prehistoric slang-"

Newt scoffed, turning back to the sink. "Prehistoric? Have you seen your wardrobe lately?"

"-But my point still stands, Newton. She's determined that I make an honest man of you, and attribute a name to _this_." He made a sweeping gesture that was apparently supposed to indicate several years of unwavering love, and rolled his eyes. "Maybe I should just marry you and have done with it." Instead of laughter like he'd expected, Newt responded with a choking sound, and a loud clatter as he dropped a plate into the soapy water. "What, is the idea of marrying me so unthinkable?"

"Nope, no, that's not, uh-" Newt fumbled with the plate, dropping it again, his face turning a light pink. Hermann had meant it as an offhand joke, but then again, it wasn't like he hadn't thought about this, hadn't thought about making what they had into something official.

"Newton," he started, voice gentle. "Is that- I hadn't considered asking- is that something you want?" He realised with a jolt that if Newt said yes, he'd probably be on one knee with a metal ring-pull before you could say _astrophysics._ It was a terrifying feeling, but one that made him strangely, unexplainably warm. Instead of answering, though, Newt gave a non-committal shrug, making a raspberry noise with his mouth.

"I don't know, dude, I mean, I hadn't even thought about. I mean, sure, yeah, it would be totally awesome to be your husband, or whatever. There's loads of benefits that come with being married, and your mom would love it, and I'm pretty sure if you were gonna run for the hills that would have happened by now- so I guess I'm saying that I wouldn't _mind_ marrying you, or, uh, no, I guess I'm saying that I'd like that a lot, actually, that would be pretty neat." He rubbed the back of his neck, and turned around. "Crap, I'm rambling again, sorry, I'm really st- Hermann, what the _hell_ are you doing?"

Hermann rolled his eyes, shifting his position on the floor so he was comfortable. "You have six doctorates, Newton, and I thought I was being fairly obvious."

"Shut up," Newt covered his mouth with both hands, blinking rapidly. "Oh, my god, shut _up_. Hermann, stand up, you're gonna hurt your leg, you dumbass."

"Your romanticism never fails, Newton. And I'm perfectly fine, thank you." His nerves gave an uncharacteristic flutter, but he was completely sure that this was a Good Thing happening. "I feel unprepared, but in matters such as this, I believe there is no time like the present."

"Dude, you're almost doing a _me_ right now. This is practically a Newt Geiszler _special_. You're sure you're not rushing into this?"

"I'm quite sure, _liebling_ , I've been considering this for years." He ignored Newt's quiet whisper of _woah_ and forged ahead. "Newton, I accept that I may not have much to offer you, not a ring or a rockstar lifestyle or a perfect body-"

"Stop that," Newt whispered, taking Hermann's hands in his own. "Oh, God, the thing. The thing is happening."

"-But I can offer you every last day that I have on this earth, and would offer you my heart, if it did not already belong to you." Hermann took a deep, steadying breath. "I am not a man for promises, Newton, but let me make one to you now; I am very much in love with you, and I plan on spending the rest of my life trying to make you half as happy as fortune has allowed me to be." Newt looked like he was about to cry; for once, Hermann could sympathise. "Newton, would you do me the honour of becoming my husband?"

Newt made a strange, strangled noise, and suddenly there were arms wrapped around Hermann's neck and lips being pressed gently, frantically to his own. "Hermann, dude, that was literally the best proposal _ever_." He placed small butterfly kisses along Hermann's cheekbones, his jaw, his neck. "Did I mention that I love you? I really, really love you."

"Of course it was, I made it," Hermann smiled. "Although your stance is quite clear, I don't recall you actually answering me."

"Oh, shit, yeah," Newt pulled back anxiously. "You're totally sure about this?" Hermann nodded, and Newt was kissing him, long and deep and barely able to do it for smiling. "Then hell yeah, dude, I'll marry you _fifty fucking times_ , I'll marry you so hard you won't even know what hit you, I will marry you so hard it'll register on the goddamn Richter scale..." They somehow made it to one of the kitchen chairs, the room still smelling of coffee and soap, and they were laughing, holding each other, kissing, _engaged, they were engaged._

"I swear to god, I am the luckiest man alive," Newt said, breathless, between kisses.

"Not to let old habits die hard, _liebling_ ," Hermann smiled, a beautiful peace settling over him that was like the feeling of a thousand sunrises, "but there is definitely one exception to your rule."

Newt made a contented noise in the back of his throat. " _Liebling_. I get to listen to you call me that forever and ever and ever." He kissed Hermann again. "You can never escape."

For a heartbeat, Hermann looked at Newt, with the fraying tshirt and the lopsided glasses and the _Buzzcocks_ playing in the background, and knew that Hermann of a few years ago had been wrong; there was such a thing as a perfect world, and it was the one with Newton Geiszler in it.

"Marry me," he asked again, just to hear the answer, to play it over in his mind, in the furthest corners of his heart.

Newt leaned their foreheads together. "Okay."

Hermann decided that of all the names they used for each other, _husband_ was undoubtedly going to be his favourite.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends I hoped you liked this ^_^ Would you believe this was originally a drabble? (tried to make this less disgustingly OOC than last time lol)
> 
> But yeah I'm still a very new writer to this fandom so any kudos or reviews you leave are really, really appreciated xxx
> 
> Can I take this opportunity to talk about the word liebling? Like it translates to traditional stuff like "darling" and "sweetheart", but it also translates to "ducky". Hermann definitely calls Newt ducky do not fight me on this.
> 
> This was just a place to show all my headcanons (punk!Hermann man) so please talk to me about these headcanons thank you :)
> 
> Okay goodbye friends !!!! Please remember to review and leave kudos and all that jazz
> 
> (Tumblr: Scandalouscactus)


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